When the bus did come it took me right to Chatsworth. They say that Jane Austen visited Chatsworth and it inspired Pemberly.  It was used in the newest movie version of Pride and Prejudice. Movie clip here.

I checked my backpack at the gate and took the tour through the house.  It was a lovely house and I one of the first rooms contained the grand staircase from P&P.  

Then they had an exhibit on Georgiana Duchess of Devonshire.  Her story was portrayed in the recent movie “The Duchess”  with Kiera Knightly.  Since Georgiana actually lived at Chatsworth parts of the movie were filmed there.  I haven’t seen the movie because it was too immoral but the exhibit of things from Georgiana herself and costumes from the movies was really interesting. 

Then we walked through more rooms including a lovely but dark music room and an incredible library that was roped off and we could only see from a distance. 

The tour, of course, exits into a shop.  Then it was out into the grounds. 

The grounds were awesome. 

Mrs. Gardiner abused her stupidity. ``If it were merely a fine house richly furnished,'' said she, ``I should not care about it myself; but the grounds are delightful. They have some of the finest woods in the country.''

--

They entered the woods, and bidding adieu to the river for a while, ascended some of the higher grounds; whence, in spots where the opening of the trees gave the eye power to wander, were many charming views of the valley, the opposite hills, with the long range of woods overspreading many, and occasionally part of the stream. Mr. Gardiner expressed a wish of going round the whole Park, but feared it might be beyond a walk.

--

The park was very large, and contained great variety of ground. They entered it in one of its lowest points, and drove for some time through a beautiful wood, stretching over a wide extent.

Elizabeth's mind was too full for conversation, but she saw and admired every remarkable spot and point of view. They gradually ascended for half a mile, and then found themselves at the top of a considerable eminence, where the wood ceased, and the eye was instantly caught by Pemberley House, situated on the opposite side of a valley, into which the road, with some abruptness, wound. It was a large, handsome, stone building, standing well on rising ground, and backed by a ridge of high woody hills; -- and in front, a stream of some natural importance was swelled into greater, but without any artificial appearance. Its banks were neither formal, nor falsely adorned. Elizabeth was delighted. She had never seen a place for which nature had done more, or where natural beauty had been so little counteracted by an awkward taste. They were all of them warm in their admiration; and at that moment she felt that to be mistress of Pemberley might be something!

--

``My dearest sister, now be serious. I want to talk very seriously. Let me know every thing that I am to know, without delay. Will you tell me how long you have loved him?''

``It has been coming on so gradually, that I hardly know when it began. But I believe I must date it from my first seeing his beautiful grounds at Pemberley.''

I’m going back in the spring just to wander around them more. There were so many different corners - bits that were open and formal

 and other parts that were more wild and tucked away.

There was a hedge maze,

 a pond, 

a rock lookout 

and a huge cascading waterfall coming down the side of the hill above the house. 

My camera battery was dying, the sun was setting and  time was running out.  I left the grounds and headed up the hill to some more shops.  As I did a vintage car came up the drive with a bride and groom in it.  

They were having their wedding dinner in the restaurant in the shop square at the top of the hill.  It was lovely.

After walking through the grounds out front a little I sat in the grass at the bus stop and read until the bus came.  The sun was setting and the leaves were changing.  Chatsworth is set in a lovely valley with nothing but rolling hills in sight.  It was gorgeous. One of the most beautiful, idyllic moments of the trip thus far.

I woke up dark and early this morning, ate breakfast and checked my packing list.  I couldn’t find my bus pass/student card.  I tore everything apart, when through every pile and pocket and still no luck.  I know I had it in my back pocket last night at Sainsbury’s but then what?  I can’t believe it’s gone.  But there was not time to waste and so I packed everything up and started walking.  I actually walked all the way back to Sainsbury’s to see if by chance it had fallen out of my pocket. [Picture me speed walking down a quiet dark street at 6:30 a.m. and standing outside the grocery store until it opened at 7].  I went in to ask if anyone had turned anything in and when I asked the lady looked at me and said, “Where are you from?”  No luck there.

Then I payed to take a bus from Sainsbury’s into town, and walked to the bus station.  I caught a train to Sheffield.  The Sheffield station is pretty nice and the little University area it empties into is newerish.  

After wandering off in the wrong direction I found the Bus Station and waited for the 214.  It was kind of fun to go driving all through the Peak District.  It was beautiful.  As we crossed into the national park it was cool to see groups of walkers tramping through fields and across roads. That was definitely one of the images that I had in my head about England was people tramping through the countryside.   I got off the bus in Rowsley and walked nearly two miles along the road to Haddon Hall. 

I listened to P&P and S&S soundtracks and enjoyed the view. I remember when I first saw the new P&P in the theater I was really impressed by the piano in the soundtrack and thought, I bet I could play that.  It was lovely in a classical style but with some cinematic ethos woven in and it was played with such feeling.  I REALLY appreciate feeling in playing.

"In that county, there was enough to be seen to occupy the chief of their three weeks; and to Mrs. Gardiner it had a peculiarly strong attraction. The town where she had formerly passed some years of her life, and where they were now to spend a few days, was probably as great an object of her curiosity, as all the celebrated beauties of Matlock, Chatsworth, Dovedale, or the Peak.

"He then asked her to walk into the house -- but she declared herself not tired, and they stood together on the lawn. At such a time, much might have been said, and silence was very awkward. She wanted to talk, but there seemed an embargo on every subject. At last she recollected that she had been travelling, and they talked of Matlock and Dove Dale with great perseverance. Yet time and her aunt moved slowly -- and her patience and her ideas were nearly worn out before the tête-à-tête was over." Pride and Prejudice

I arrived at haddon hall around 11:45 before the house opened at 12.  It was perfect to come in fall because many of the outdoor scenes in the JE film are in fall.  I love when she goes tramping off away from the house out the to road and meets Rochester for the first time.  I love all the iron lattice windows that look down on the river.  

After 15 years in my head I admit that I was in a bit of shock after walking through the house because it didn’t look at all like I had pictured in my head.  The way that they shot it in the movie made it seem like a newer house and I believe that all the wood stair cases you see were shot somewhere else or in a part of the house that we couldn't tour because I definately didn't see anything like that.  Objectively I could look around and see how they could shoot something to look like they did but my mental image was so different that I was a little let down and surprised and dismayed that I was let down. Then I started to wonder what it was that I was looking for.  It reminded me of the C.S. Lewis idea of joy that you catch glimpses of the real thing but can’t ever catch it in this life.  

“God first began to capture his heart through small glimpses of “Joy” in both literature, music, and nature.  As Lewis sought to recapture this “Joy” it fled from him, proving unattainable time and again.  Joy would reappear, unexpected, throughout his life, and eventually became a clue that helped point him towards the God he most desired to believe did not exist.”   Blog

"He saw Joy as pictures or blissful glimpses God sends to an estranged race to awaken sweet desire of pagans and thereby calling them to Himself. Lewis used the word Joy to connote the highest definition of imagination, that is the sense of awe at the presence of the Objective Realty, the Absolute Truth, which lies outside of ourselves. On a psychological level, it is the word Sehnsucht, to mean longing or desire for beauty, the transcendent or the sense of separation to that which is desired such as those imaginative experiences he describes in Surprised by Joy: [blog]

• the green Castlereagh Hills outside his nursery window, the tiny toy garden on the lid of a biscuit tin, Beatrix Potter s Squirrel Nutkin and Longfellow's Saga of King Olaf. Later he distinguished these kinds of experiences of Joy from happiness and pleasure by observing their common quality as that of an unsatisfied desire which is itself more desirable than any other satisfaction...anyone who has experienced it will want it again." 

I wish that I could have gone roaming out on the grounds but I settled for parking myself with my laptop on a bench outside the entrance to try and write about what was going through my head. I walked out to the main road and read my book while waiting for the bus. 

It was a little late but carried me about a miles down the next bus junction.  Because it was late I thought that I had missed the connection. There was another man from the bus in a similar situation.  Since it was another hour until the next bus I decided to check out the adjoining outlet mall for entertainment. It was a little odd to see something so new when I had just come from visiting something so old.  It was a small collection of shops that took me about 10 minutes to walk through. When I got back to the bus stop I discovered that the man was gone which probably mean that if I would have waited 5 minutes I could have caught the bus.  Oh well.  So I sat on the sidewalk in front of the bus stop and read my book. 

To say that my moving to England had nothing to do with my love for period dramas would be like saying that Lord of the Rings had nothing to do with Michelle moving to New Zealand.  

My love for all British things natural, literary and historical was of course a huge motivating factor.   Hopefully living here won’t destroy all my fantastical imaginings but just add a little depth of reality and experience. My list of places to visit outside London included tramping around the countryside but mostly visiting filming locations of my favorite period dramas. What is so attractive about being in the actual locations?  (And how sad is it that I'm interested in places because of film ties over historical significance?) What is it that we hope to gain by being there?  How does our view of the film change after we've seen the actual location? One of the things that I have found thus far is how filmmakers are able to create places that don't exist out of bits and pieces of scenes filmed at various locations.


Exhibit A: Jane Eyre. I love Jane Eyre.  When other girls had pictures of pop stars on their binders in high school I had this picture from the 96 Zeffirelli version. 

A friend recommended the book to me and I struggled through without really understanding. I fell in love with the movie version and practically memorized it.  There are over a dozen film versions of Jane Eyre and this one is my favorite. [Apparently there's also a Jane Eyre musical but I just don't think I could stomach that.  Scarlet Pimpernel definitely, Jane Eyre? I don't think so.]   I can tell you all the reasons why it’s not perfect but I just love it the way it is. Oh and it just happens to be written by a Charlotte who lived not far from where I live now, that’s just a bonus.

Later when I came back the book I really started to understand it. At UW I needed some more non-music credits and so I took a Victorian Literature class over the summer.  We completely dissected Great Expectations in two hour daily lectures and I ate it up. [That was the summer of the Tube bombings in London and as we sat there reading Dickens I daydreamed about visiting.] I knew that Great Expectations is one of those classic books that you ought to know.  I had tried to get into it before, reading summaries and watching the new BBC version but I just didn’t understand what the big deal was. The new movie version spends way too much time panning landscape and twisting character motivations. Through this class I really learned to appreciate everything that is built into literature and Great Expectations moved up to second on my list favorite of Classics.  I even like it so much that I don’t care one fig whether or not he ends up with Estella, which is saying something in my romantic frame of mind.

I still needed some more credits and I found a similar class online by the same teacher.  For the online class we read and compared Great Expectations to Jane Eyre and Frankenstein to Emma.  I loved the class but got a bit behind since it was independent and I was taking an overload of music classes.  But I loved it.  My copy of Jane Eyre is underlined and annotated and dog eared all over the place.  Later in preparation for going in to write my final essay I listened to GE and JE as audio books for review. Add in a few literary podcasts and you could say I’m fairly familiar with the book.  After all this time in the book any movie is going to be disappointing but I still loved the Zefferlli.

All of this to set up the fact that I’m rather attached.  In fact what do I do when I get here?  Check out a copy from the library.  Enter October.  I’ve been in England for not quite two months and it’s my birthday (technically the day before).  I don’t really have anyone to celebrate with and so I decide that the ultimate birthday would be spending the day going to Thornfield Hall [Haddon Hall] and Pemberly [Chatsworth House] in Derbyshire. Doesn’t get much better than that, right?  Here we go...

I saw that on a t shirt once in Salt Lake and I think I really need one.

General Conference is the semi-annual meeting of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. One weekend in April and October we gather to watch and listen to talks from the Prophet, 12 Apostles and other Church leaders in 4 two hour sessions. It’s like live scripture and guidance for our day. All of the talks are available as podcasts and in a variety of media formats on the Church website. Here are some highlights from the most recent Conference.

Windows Media Quick Time

I’m not sure exactly when I fell in love with General Conference. When I was young I didn’t get the difference between Stake Conference and General Conference. For Stake Conference we would meet in the North Seattle Stake Centre and back when I was little we would go to Primary and they would give us those awesome sherbet cups with the flat wood ‘spoons.’ I remember our class would walk by the chapel and I would see some white haired man talking and I assumed my parents were listening to the Prophet. [The fam outside the N. Seattle Stake Center ca. 82?]

Later as I got older I figured out that Stake Conference was a broadcast which later meant that we would go and watch it on satellite or rarely it would be on TV or the radio. I always loved to hear President Monson because he always told great stories. I still have a soft spot in my heart for President Monson as he was my mission president’s mission president in Toronto.

My ears would always prick up to anyone who said, “I want to talk to the primary children today,” or “ today I’d like to talk to the youth.” As a youth I began to recognize the feelings that I associated with conference as ones of enlightenment and inspiration. I felt the love from the brethren as from my Heavenly Father and felt my worth and had a desire to be faithful and work hard.

Then in college before the mission I started to view Conference as a holiday weekend. I would go to all four sessions at the Stake Centre. I particularly loved Saturdays because after the morning session I would sit in the chapel, sometime totally alone, and watch the World Report and just marvel at how the Church was growing and blessing people’s lives. Then I’d head out and grab a bite and come back for more. It just blew my mind that people wouldn’t go to all four sessions or would just see it as a week off from church. It’s conference! It’s like Christmas!

Through this practice I developed a great love for the Prophet and Apostles. I found that as I paid more attention and was more eager to learn that I made more connections and received more. I could identify each Apostle by sound and knew what their favorite topics were. I of course have my favorites, Elder Holland and Elder Maxwell. When I was at UW I really enjoyed listening to inspirational talks on my mp3 player on the bus. My favorite is Elder Holland’s “Cast Not Away Therefore Your Confidence” which isn’t technically a Conference talk. It was a BYU devotional. I listen to this talk a lot.

It was also in college that I had my first opportunity to attend conference in Salt Lake. It was an insane 36 hour road trip but super exciting for me because I hadn’t been to Utah since I was younger than 18 months. I was so excited to finally see Temple Square and experience the feeling of being surrounded by so many faithful Saints who had come together. We stood in line in the cold for a long time but were able to just barely get into the Tabernacle for the Saturday afternoon session. Unfortunately after driving all day the day before and standing in line all morning it was a bit hard to stay awake. [Wow, was that really 10 years ago?]

The night before I entered the Missionary Training Center my mom and I went to Salt Lake to see “The Testaments.” The Conference Centre was now finished and we wanted to see that too. It was rather late and there weren’t too many people around but we wandered in and when I told one of the guides that I was leaving on my mission the next day he took us up to have a look in the auditorium from the balcony. Wow. It’s so huge, seating 20,000+ but at the same time has the same intimate feeling as being someone’s living room.

On the mission Conference weekend was a much needed spiritual recharge. I remember walking into a chapel in Orillia and hearing the organ prelude through the sound system and feeling at home. It was also a really great opportunity to encourage people who were investigating the Church to come and hear the Prophet’s voice and feel the Spirit. The October 2001 Conference everyone was really keyed in to hear what the Prophet would have to say after 9/11. I remember that day was particularly blustery and we spend the time on Saturday between sessions tracting.

The April 2002 conference being particularly fantastic. I remember being more aware of all the talks and the musical numbers. All of this heightened Spirit may have had something to do with the fact that Lorna Meusa was baptized that Saturday following one of the sessions. It was glorious.

I like to read and on the mission you have a limited library of choices and so I read nearly every Ensign magazine I could get my hands on. Not to mention the scriptures and missionary library. But I was blessed that all my concentration on conference really allowed me to remember talks and topics so I could share them with people that the could help.

In April 2007 we went down to Salt Lake for my grandfather’s burial and Suzie and I were able to attend the Saturday afternoon session in the Conference center, as she had not been before. We stood in the stand by line for a few hours and it’s like a parade of this is your life. Temple Square is just crawling with people and our cousin Derek came walking by and joined us and my friend Andreya from Oregon came walking by. It’s also a great weekend for mission reunions because often lots of people are in town. The lame part this particular weekend was that the Saturday afternoon session was the rededication of the Tabernacle and so all the General Authorities were there and we were in the Conference Centre watching them on a screen. Irony!!

As much as I love of the feel of being in Salt Lake [even though my body doesn't] I think I get a little more out of it when I watch at home and can focus a little more. In our ward it’s a party. We get together at each others homes and watch BYUTV and have a big breakfast buffet between sessions. [Whipped cream anyone?]

So this Conference I watched live streaming video online at home. It was funny because the time difference meant that the sessions were in the evening 5-7 and 9-11. I also really enjoyed still commiserating with friends online and through facebook between sessions about the great talks. I was particularly impressed this time with the no nonsense talks about love. You all need to just love your families more and be good. Everyone needs to hear this!

I think I’ll go and listen to a few more talks today myself.

Alright Charlotte, we get it, you travelled but wasn’t that like two months ago? Aren’t you going to school? What’s going on? Well so many things happened during our travels that I wanted to record but obviously that’s taken some time, time and focus. Also getting settled has been a bit of an adjustment and so my question was do I blog about it while I’m figuring it out and it’s raw and real and subject to change later or boil it down in hindsight into consumable bites of hard won wisdom. Right now the journal is getting brunt of the raw and real (44 pages and nearly 30,000 words in October) but I’m going to try to be better and get caught up so I can post more current events.

Overall it’s exciting to set up a new life, to figure things out through trial and error, to discover what’s important, to make mistakes, to find the routine and pattern. On the outside it’s the silly day to day things like cleaning the flat, buying groceries & housewares, exploring libraries, wandering through new neighborhoods, balancing the budget, taking out the garbage, taking the bus and shopping, doing laundry, figuring out how school works and how to build a new support system. On the inside it's the wholesale test of my definition as a person. You know, life.

Coming up next....more life.

The main Churches that we visited were Westminster Abbey, St. Paul’s Cathedral, Christ Church Cathedral and St. George’s Chapel. These churches provided a great contrast and lots of great points for discussion between Michelle and I. [Sorry there we don't have any interior shots.]

Westminster is dark, gothic, historic and busy. It’s where the English coronations take place and it’s practically overrun with Royal memorials and burials not to mention those of other notable Brits.

The most memorable to me was a sculpture of the Savior in The Chapter House. It wasn't particularly beautiful but as I walked into this large octagonal room and looked back over the entrance to see Him with His arms out stretched, my first thought was, “Oh there you are.” You see amidst all the history and memorials it would be easy to forget that this was a house of worship dedicated to Him.

We went directly from Westminster to St. Paul’s. What a contrast.

Where Westminster was dark, gothic and busy. St. Paul’s is bright, Classical and open. There are memorials but they don’t crowd in upon you. Instead of being a hodge-podge conglomeration of pieces it felt more like it was designed as one piece. Nearly everything was white/cream marble and uniform dark woods provided contrast.

Along the base of the dome there is a series of brightly colored mosaics depicting various prophets and apostles from the Bible being taught by angels. Along the ceiling of the Quire there are lots more mosaics. Michelle and I had a great time trying to tell the story through them. I tried to use my limited knowledge of Choral latin to translate the words that circled around the scenes. While lots of Cathedrals have paintings or mosaics this one was neat because they were all relative new and you could see everything and how it all worked together.

The huge dome has a few levels you can climb. The first to the base of the dome where you can sit and look up.The upper two levels go to viewing circles outside.

Michelle went up two levels but I went all the way up to the top. I think it was over 600 steps in total from tip to crypt. While standing by Michelle in the shop when we were done my legs were trembling and I thought I might fall right over.

St George Chapel is the chapel for Windsor castle. The most memorable spot there to me was the giant marble memorial for Princess Charlotte, daughter of the Prince Regent who died at 21 in child birth. Her story is rather tragic. I read a book on it when I got home, “Charlotte and Leopold” which I highly recommend.

It was in this chapel that Michelle and I found a bench among the memorials to sit and chat and debrief about what we had seen. It was rather a surreal moment as groups of preteen school children in jeans wearing backpacks and carrying audio guides went wandering past. In looking back on history it’s hard not to overlay your own prejudices, opinions and tastes. So much of what we had seen was so ornate and a bit over done to modern sensibilities. We couldn’t help but draw parallels between the building of cathedrals and temples. While Cathedrals seemed rather to be built to honor or reflect upon the monarch of the time temples are wholly to the glory of God. Temples have the grace of ancient architecture but aren’t overdone. Regardless of political overtones the commonality still exists of artists devoting their talents in the service of God.